This is the time when blogging helps. When I have no one to talk to. I could assume that the 500 of you fellow readers would be keen to know how I am feeling right now, just like how u guys used to. Firstly, thank you to those that haven't abandon my blog as one of your free time reads. School, new nightlife job, complicated relationship and friendship problems all piling up. To the extend that I find it hard to breathe. Yes, even breathing is a chore now.
Somehow I wish that I was a lot different compared to who I am now.
I could be: Optimistic, high self esteem, considerate but to a certain extend, helpful but think about myself before others, care lesser about the views of people, pretty, slim, tall, great pg for my self shot pics, witty, outspoken, ain't afraid of criticism
And a lot more not on the list which I think I would take days to finish typing.
Since idk when the fuck, maybe when I started remembering things, the only stuff that went well was my ties with my family members. Having said that, I still quarrel with them sometimes, and we would just ignore each other for months. The rest? Fucking piece of bullshit. I have never had any relationships that ended well, zero friendships (that is with females) that had no betrayals (or whatever backstabbing- or so they say) and my results dropped eversince secondary 2.
I am someone that stick to my own principles, principles I came up with as I learnt of the cold hard truth of this stupid world. Principles like not to have any female close friends, never to really, fully trust guys (unless they proved you wrong several times, at least), be dependent when it comes to money, never get a filthy-rich-family-background bf.
Humans are swallow like that. They judge only by the cover of each book, and don't fucking bother to even flip a few pages to just skim through. If u get what I mean. And so, if u are pretty, u are either a slut, or a bimbo. If you are ugly, you deserve to get ill treated or cheated on. What is this world becoming to?!?!?
And there comes issues that involves money. Money, always the key to quarrels. They say the poor gets poorer, and the rich gets richer. Reason being, the poor would always worry about having not enough money, and would tend to be choosy when opportunities are given. Thoughts like "would this payout be enough?" "What if I take this job and another better jobs comes in?" "This payout is too low for the chores I would have to do" yadaa yadaa yadaa. It's all these nonsensical thoughts that would actually hinder them from becoming richer. So what if the pay is low? So what if there are jobs that pay better out there? The rich would never do that. They just take any opportunity that comes along, and hence get even richer. That's when the poor would start ranting. It's not their fault u know, to be easy going. It's your fault for being picky.
Girlfriends. Not the I love you and I want to marry you girlfriend. I'm talking about the 'oh you are the bff of my life ♥' girlfriend. Never, ever, get deceived by a females' message or whatever they say/show to you. It might be untrue. Deep down, they hate you to the core, and would tell the whole world expt for you how bitchy and slutty you are, how fat, ugly you are. Trust me, all those 'love you' 'meet up soon' 'can't wait to see you' 'don't be sad, cheer up, I will be there for u' 'takecare of yourself and get well soon' are fake smoke screens they use. For what?! I completely have no idea.
L-O-V-E. The real meaning of the word, is 'a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend; sexual passion or desire' as quoted from dictionary.com. BUT. In reality, we all know, it is actually an attraction from someone to another at first sight; infatuation that would have a 'honeymoon period' for 4 months; deep affection due to guilt of seeing another partner secretly; sexual passion due to personal needs that couldn't be satisfied. We all know this. Some of us have heard, some of us had been through it. I'm not saying that all guys would cheat, would have short infatuation for you. I mean, I would be glad if you have found someone who's that one in a million. Choose carefully, there might still be creatures that are truthful, faithful, honest, trusthworthy in this world. Just that they might be facing extinct.